While using these services, I felt it was important to be constantly interacting, making conversation, building relationships and showing that I was active. Why? Well in this day and age, when you are quiet on social media, it is as if you have fallen off the face of the earth, disappearing into a quiet realm where few enter and no one wants to be. The typical user is continuously shouting “Look at me, look at me! I’m on holiday, my life is perfect, I am doing this, did you hear about that? etc etc etc”.
I know it may sound as if I am being slightly narcissistic here, but it really is information overload. On the rare occasion someone might rant on these platforms or showcase the difficulties of their life (which can also be a part of the look at me phenomenon), but for the most part it is all about looking great.
To be honest with you, I found it all a bit tiring. Especially on the 140 character world of Twitter where the flow of information is nonstop.
Not only did I find this tiring, but more importantly I found it extremely distracting. One day I wondered to myself, “Is this really helping me to live my best life? Will people care if I am no longer on social media? Will someone call me or text me and say “Hey Chris, is everything okay? You haven’t been on social media for a while and I have got to say on behalf of the social media community that we really do miss you!”” The answer was a resounding no. That may be the case for a superstar, but not for me. Therefore, I decided to deactivate my accounts and see how it felt. This wasn’t about me being egotistic and wanting the world to care about my existence. It was more about focusing on what was most important in my life.
It was the big fear of missing out that kept me hooked to the addiction. And it is an addiction, a habit strongly ingrained in our brains that causes us to do the same thing without thought. There is a great book called “Hooked: A Guide to Building Habit-Forming Products by Nir Eyal” that touches on this.
I did not like one bit how I would go on the internet and immediately search for Twitter, Facebook, or Youtube. Or how I would instantly open the apps on my phone just to see what I had been missing. This would happen several times throughout the day. It would happen when I woke up, when I was travelling, when I was at work, when I was on lunch break, when I was a home and when I was about to go sleep. Surely that type of usage isn’t healthy?
The internet is powerful. We now have access to more information than we have ever had before, but are we really making the most of it? Are our habits aligned in a way that helps us to grow or are they just keeping us stagnant?
It is no secret that our attention spans are decreasing, the onset of notifications and new information has a big impact on our ability to focus over time. A wonderful book that discusses this is “Deep Work by Cal Newport”.
Now don’t get me wrong, social media is a powerful tool. It is a no brainer why businesses are continuously using it to engage with customers and secure new ones however, it takes more than a powerful tool to drill your way to greatness. You need to use the tool with skill and be very aware of the dangers of yielding it incorrectly.
Deactivating my Twitter, Instagram and most recently my Facebook has been a great move for me. It has allowed me to focus on the things that are most important. It has enabled me to engage in deep work rather than fleeting work. I read and write in my journal more, I call my friends and family more and I send them text messages, remember those?
Actually, I remember calling a friend the other day that I hadn’t spoken to for a long time. They were so shocked to hear from me that they instantly thought that something was wrong with me. Imagine that!
I get much more joy from having a catch up on the phone or in person, social media can never be a substitute for that. It’s easy to get caught up in life and then use social media as a replacement. However, it can never replace the value of truly investing in the relationship that are important in your life.
I say all of this to say this, deactivating my social media has been a life changer. It is not for everyone and I really do understand that. You might find it better to just reduce your usage slightly or be more intentional with your usage. However, in my case, deactivating my account was the best choice. I may return in the future, but for now, I am just enjoying being away from the noise.
Call me if you need me 🙂
Christopha Gordon