The aim is to become not to have

Most of us have heard the saying that it is all about the journey and not the destination, this is something that I truly agree with. Sometimes we get preoccupied with having things and reaching a destination, but then we miss out on what is right in front of us.We say, if this happens, I will be able to do this or feel like this. Life would be so much better! Is it any wonder why people become rich, famous or highly successful and breakdown? The destination did not live up to their expectations. They were waiting for a future state of having in order to feel and be a particular way.

I am not saying that there is something wrong with wanting things. In fact, by stretching our imagination to want and have extraordinary things, it challenges us to become more. The true joy however, is in the becoming, the journey, the good times and the bad times.

A great example of this is in Derek Sivers’ book, Anything You Want. Derek Sivers is the founder of CD Baby, the largest online distributor of independent music in the world. When the business was starting to really grow, Derek’s employees felt that he should stop writing the code to CD baby and hire people to do it. The employees said that by doing so, CD Baby could grow faster and make more money!

Derek however, was completely uninterested in letting it go. He enjoyed doing it and he was not concerned about growing faster and making more money. This sounds extreme and it is, it is an extreme example of someone being more concerned with doing the things that make them happy than having more stuff. Derek compared the idea of having someone else write the code to a song writer hiring a ghost writer. It would have taken away the joy of the process.

Some of us focus on having, then doing, then being. Really we should be focusing on being, doing and then having. Having is the cherry on the top.

This is not to say that we should not have goals that focus on having, I have quite a few, but my main focus is on who I will become along the way. I want to stretch myself to become more and to be the best version of myself. I know that by becoming more, I will have all of the things that I want. This is because I will be able to give more value to the world.

I often write big goals that drive me and force me to think of myself as more than I do today. It enables me to ask the key question, how do I become the person that can do this or have that? That is the question that excites me. These goals force me to keep asking that question day by day.

Success is the shiny object that you obtain, value is what you give in the process of becoming. Become a person of value!