He brought up an example where he was speaking with someone who was struggling to find someone they deeply connected with. He asked them, what kind of person are you looking for? When they responded, they gave a very generic answer. In fact, it was an answer that could fit most men.
He then advised her to write a list of all of the specific qualities and attributes that they were looking for in a partner. As soon as he said this in the book, it reminded me that this was the exact thing that I did nearly 8 years ago.
I was fed up of not finding the right person, so I asked myself, who would the right person be? I then ended up writing a list of 70 things that I would be looking for in the perfect partner. Once I finished the list I was really happy with it. I felt that I had captured the essence of who I wanted to be with.
I then continued with life as normal and I don’t think I spent much time looking at the list again. The next month I met a lovely lady, but unfortunately, she was in a relationship. I started to ask people about her and I liked what I heard. However, I said to myself, “I will not try to meddle with her relationship and I will wait. If she is meant to be for me, time will tell”.
Not wanting to wait forever, I begun to pursue someone that I had known and liked for some time. Things fell flat with that pursuit and coincidentally, around the same time, the lovely lady that I met had ended her relationship.
I then swooped in and soon after we were together. This was 5 months after I wrote that list. After reviewing that list, I realised that she had many, if not all of the qualities and attributes that I was looking for in a partner!
Today, 7 years on, we are married and have a beautiful son.
What this story demonstrates is the power of outlining exactly what you want in life and writing it down. There needs to be a strong why behind the want, but ultimately, it you do not know what you are looking for, you will never find it.
For all of my singletons, I hope this story provides you with some hope. This is not just a story about relationships however. This same method can be applied to any goal that you have for yourself and relates to the previous blog that I wrote on powerful goal setting.
Before reaching any worthy goal, you must make a choice. What are the specifics around the goal that you are aiming for? When do you want to reach it? And why is this goal important?